Sunday, September 5, 2010

Challenges of Motherhood

They're inevitable and come with the territory. Challenges come in many sporadic forms but are possible to overcome. Sometimes you have to be creative in your resolutions when it comes to the tests and trials your children can spring on you at any given moment. One of my experiences has been the challenge of washing my daughter's hair while she is screaming and begging for mercy as if I am inflicting excrutiating pain on her. No matter how gentle I was she would scream and cry and call for her daddy! Well, I used to get very upset and the way she would cry made me feel terrible as if I really was hurting her when I knew I wasn't. We can really let our little ones work us and she almost won the battle but one day I decided to take the calm method by speaking to her in a soft tone and saying "big girls don't cry when they get their hair washed. They sit and play with their toys and get to have chocolate for being such a good girl." Yeah, I know. Sounds like a bribe but I was desperate. Desperate times call for desperate measures and a little chocolate every know and then won't hurt. The outcome: Both mommy and daughter are happy and stress free on wash day! If you have a young daughter and wash their hair yourself you know exactly what I mean because from what I've heard this is common for many of us. Now when I give my daughter her weekly hair wash I always say "Okay, it's time for bath and getting your hair washed!" When I first began using the reverse psychology by using the "big girl vs baby" concept she had to grow accustomed to it so every now and then she would say "No! I don't want to get my hair washed!" Now, she says "I'm going to be a big girl and get my hair washed! Then, I'm going to have chocolate!" My lesson to dear daughter is you have to earn rewards in life. You just don't get the reward for the sake of getting it. So, she learns that if she behaves well when she gets her hair washed she earned the right to have some chocolate which is a reward not something she has to have or is entitled to. I'm not one of those types of parents that doesn't give my child sweets but I give them to her in limited amounts and because we didn't constantly consume soda, candy, and chips she opts for healthier alternatives like predominantly drinking water. She drinks juice maybe once or twice a day but predominantly water. I have to work on the milk but I give her a daily multi which has added calcium and she gets Vitamin D from other sources but for the mostpart she eats her fruits and veggies. She's at a point now where I believe her taste is changing. For example, she may love to eat granola bars for a few months and then all of a sudden she doesn't want granola bars or anything else she normally favors.

My daughter would eat Dora fruit snacks all day everyday if we let her so she tries to pull this "I don't want anything but Dora snacks" act on us. So, I tell her that she has to eat food like a sandwich or her chicken and veggies then maybe she can have Dora snacks so she would keep testing us and testing us to see if we would give in. Well, today I told her I was going to make her a sandwich for lunch and when she eats her sandwich she can have her Dora snacks. So, she finally decides to give in and she complied by eating her sandwich. Most of the time she would sit and cry and not eat her food because she's trying to see if we will give her what she wants. So, we've made some progression this weekend as far as wash day and teaching her that she has to eat her food before she can get sweets. I'll be updating the Challenges of Motherhood as this is an ongoing process so there will always be something new to share.

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